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Just like sex toys, they can be tried on and discarded depending on mood, without ever having to commit to any of them. “You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to just be one thing,” Manta says. Goodreads has an “Erotica for Men” reading list with more than 100 books. Click here for more information on my 7 Day Course and truly build your confidence in making women light up. Dirty text messages are a fun and exciting safety blanket under which you can establish a seductive scenario, but as with all online flirting, take the relationship offline ASAP.

Overcoming Challenges and Awkward Moments

Pardon our French, but there really are fewer dirty talk phrases hotter than this one during sex. “Let your partner know the intensity of your pleasure with this wonderful little word. “Talking dirty is another way to arouse yourself and your partner.

Can Dirty talk increase sexual pleasure?

The language of the body can be one of affirmation as well as erotic possibility. Communication is at the heart of every sexual connection. Also, remember to not get in your head about it too much!

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To request something without “ruining the mood,” try these phrases…

With a bit of practice, you’ll be a wordsmith of sexy talk that will drive your partner wild. Sometimes, the way you say something during sex can be just as effective as what you are actually saying. As a rule, women generally find it easier to sex up their voice with gentle whispers and sultry tones, whereas men might sometimes find it harder to get the tone right.

Practice makes perfect and creates ease in knowing what to say when you’re deep in the moment. Building from a slow burn also applies to tone of voice, which is so important when talking dirty. “Nobody wants to be screamed at by a drill sergeant when you’re getting down to business (unless you’re into that sort of thing!)” says Miss Foxx UK, a pro dominatrix and kink expert on the iWantPhone.com platform. “Try talking really slowly and sensually, whispering naughty words into your partner’s ear, and accentuating words like ‘hard,’ ‘wet,’ and ‘lips.’ That will really get your partner going! Test the waters.If you aren’t sure that your partner will be into dirty talk, try it once or twice casually during sex to see what their response is—you might be surprised.

• Create space outside of any sexual activity for reflection.
• Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, recommends using your senses to describe what you’re feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting, and hearing.
• Think of words that enhance your self-love — juicy, hot, tight, strong, cute, smooth — and enthusiastically inquire about your partner’s faves, too.
• Dirty talk is all about expressing your erotic desires, kinks, and fantasies.
• “You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to just be one thing,” Manta says.
• In addition to trying out these phrases and techniques, Matatas also suggests giving a few intimate activities a try in order to get your dirty talk juices flowing.

Asking pre-encounter allows you to create a natural mash-up of what you both like before you get things popping. Committing sexual acts and talking dirty involve two completely different mindsets. Dirty talk is something we do by ourselves, as opposed to physical sex acts. This erotic dialogue, therefore, serves to unleash the interest in new sexual acts that might not usually be of interest. Asking what our partners need from us and what we need from them opens up the lines of communication to show we’re open to changing things up in the bedroom. Verbalizing the sexual roles we want and hearing what our partners want to do to us is essential in sexual arousal.

Part of the appeal of talking dirty is the anticipation of what’s to, well, come. Not only can these racy narratives upgrade your sex life, but they can also strengthen your relationship. Dr. Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist for Astroglide, adds that dirty talk is also a great way to build anticipation and cultivate consent—both before and during intimacy. While talking about what you want to do, what you plan on doing, or how you’re feeling in the moment, you and your partner can get a better sense of where the boundaries are and make sure you’re on the same page. Humans are verbal creatures—in relationships, we use our words to express our deepest emotions, desires, needs, and fantasies.